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Home » parenting

Birth, death and the stuff in between

By Jen

You probably already know that my sister had a baby last week. I was fortunate enough to actually be in the delivery room when my nephew was born (as if I was going to leave). This was my first time watching from the sidelines. As I sat there and watched my sister roll through the stages of labour I was astounded at the similarities between birth and death.
I was present, in the hospital, when my mother died. She spent her last week of life in a silent coma. My family sat at her bedside day and night watching her every breath. We had no idea when she would leave us. The doctors couldn't give us the answer to our one question, when. Only time would tell. She lay silently, breathing her life away.
A week ago I sat at my sister's bedside as she too lay silently, breathing a new life into the world. No one could tell use how long it would take. Only time would tell.
The sight of my sister, eyes closed, in a meditative state, reminded me of my mother's strength.
Facing death takes a different sort of bravery and courage, a kind I'm not sure that I possess. Much like facing labour and birth.
When you become pregnant you know that in about 9 months a tiny human is going to come out of your body and into the world. When my mother was diagnosed with stage 4 colon cancer she knew what the ultimate result would be.
I guess what I realized, after that little sweet human entered the world was that it didn't really matter when he arrived. What matters most is how he will live his life.
It didn't actually matter when my mother died, it only mattered how she had lived.
These similar moments in the course of my life are just that - moments.
Moments that will live on in my memory, and be joined by all the other memories I have and all the memories I have yet to make in my life.

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About Jen

Jen Farr is a mother living in Toronto, Canada. She has been sharing her DIY crafts, recipes, activities and parenting advice for over 15 years on her blog Kitchen Counter Chronicle. Jen is the mom of 2 lovely daughters. She believes in the power of taking small steps that can make big impacts on the world.

Comments

  1. Rob Shirkey says

    March 23, 2012 at 11:16 am

    "I guess what I realized, after that little sweet human entered the world was that it didn't really matter when he arrived. What matters most is how he will live his life.

    It didn't actually matter when my mother died, it only mattered how she had lived."

    Thanks for sharing this... it's a great perspective. Hope you're well! 🙂

    • KitchenCounterChronicles says

      March 23, 2012 at 11:41 am

      Thanks Rob.

  2. Peggy-Sue says

    March 24, 2012 at 10:13 pm

    A really, really lovely post. Thank you.

  3. Joyce says

    March 25, 2012 at 3:41 am

    What a wonderful and thoughtful post. Thank you so much for sharing something so personal. It was absolutely beautiful. I'm so sorry for your loss and congrats on your family's newest addition.

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Hi, I'm Jen!

I’m the creative mind behind Kitchen Counter Chronicle. I’ve been making and sharing activities, crafts, and recipes for 10+ years.

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